I am moving once again. Blogspot is too stereotypical already. Almost everybody's here. I'm moving to Livejournal, which may be one of the more famous blog hosts but at least not as overpopulated as blogspot. :) If you want to know my new URL, I'm just a YM away. I won't give it away because I realized that making a blog too commercialized may just take away the essence of making it a good blog...
Thanks Blogspot! =)
I totally hate it when I get sick. Everytime I get sick, it always takes away the best of me-- I suddenly become quiet and sad. To top it off, when I get sick, all my problems accumulate. I know, it's a weird way to put it but I just totally hate getting sick. Sucks. When I woke up this morning, I literally had no voice. I was trying to say out loud my morning prayer, but to my surprise when I opened my mouth, no voice came. It was almost like I was controlled by a remote control and put to MUTE. I freaked out I almost want to cry (see how bad my personality gets when I get sick?). I really wanted to cut all of my subjects for today if only I didn't have a Fil14 reporting (now see how good of a student I am? hehe), but it's true. I came to school for a report that didn't even last for five minutes, but I thought that if I don't report it, no one else would since I am the only one who knows exactly what the keywords in the powerpoint would mean.
So there, I went to school, with a reallllllyyyy heavyyyyy heart. It's like I'm punishing myself so much. For the first time (in college), I actually felt I am pushing myself to the limit, sometimes, even if the push seems unnecessary. I actually even surmised that the reason why I don't seem to get any better is because instead of taking a rest for at least a day, I instead, go straight to studying right after I get home. Now I am really getting it how one person can have a good and an evil side. Now that I'm sick, my evil side grows by pushing myself to neglect weakness. Sometimes, it pays to give some attention to weakness and see what good can radiate from it.
I have a deadly schedule by next week. I will be having an accounting long test and some other requirements that when put together can create a storm. Not to mention, I offered my breaks for AJMA to serve as interviewer to our new members. Yes, I am a good student. Yes, I am a good org member. Hehe. But sometimes, being good isn't enough. I am currently going through this stage of whether what I am doing is enough to still be a Deans Lister (not that I'm slacking off, oh no, I'm so far away from that) but subjects just get harder by the minute, requirements get piled up every second and exams are anything but easy, so sometimes I wonder what if I just study non stop, forget about social life for some time and do all work. And then I remember my blockmate saying a while ago (while we compare ourselves with two of the most academic freak in the block), "I can't imagine myself to be like *toot* and *toot*. As in, wala na silang hobbies." I don't want to go there. I don't want to be a Dean's Lister and not have any other priceless accomplishments like having friends, spending time with friends, and having fun despite the tough journey. I don't wanna be caught in the caf alone and studying. I don't want to see myself in the lib 24/7. I don't want to look at the mirror and not like what I see. So thinking about it again, maybe what I'm doing is good-- good enough to be what I want to be... good enough to still be proud that I have gone through another tough sem of being an LM major while still being the best person I imagine myself to be.
Whew! See where my sickness could actually lead me?
I just thank God for the continuous strength He showers me with. Sometimes, I just close my eyes and think of Him and things become a ton lighter. Thanks, bossing! =) I also thank my Atenean friends for keeping me sane. Imagine, we spend most of our time together thanks to our horrifying schedules (we're almost just borders to our homes-- we go home to sleep, eat, and take a bath!).
Sneeze here. Cough there. I hope I get better.
I just got home an hour ago from what I consider a loooooonnngggg and draaaaggggiiinnngg day. Every Wednesday is a 9-9 Wednesday for me, which translates to my stay in school from 9 AM to 9PM-- and not that the subjects kill me (but they can, I swear.) but it's the feeling of being mentally and physically drained/abused/tired or whatever else you may want to call it that can kill. Imagine having to battle off the feeling of having to drag yourself to every class with a tired and weeping soul (wow, drama. HAHA). But anyway, enough of that crap, I'm losing track, I'm supposed to tell how my Law21 class went...
Last week, I felt so relaxed about it. I knew we were having oral recitations about our readings (it's a weekly homework that we have to do, read at least 50 pages of the book) but I didn't feel any stress at all. While everyone else felt nervous about it, all I did was look at them study and memorize the difference between an incidental and causal fraud, define mora accipiendi, and the likes. Come the class itself, we started immediately with the recitation and BAM! It was freaky, with a capital F. I was shocked of the "system". It was even harder than I thought it would be. Let me give you an idea:
Sir Valdez shuffles the index cards, the "lucky" one who gets picked stands up, to answer his questions that don't necessarily come in proper order as it has been stated in the book. That being, we really have to learn to think at our feet while speaking like lawyers. Everyone was worried-- they who have studied and knew the difference of an incidental and causal fraud and the definition of mora accipiendi, while I, I who didn't even bother memorize these terms, sat there in my seat in front, still not nervous. Sure it was freaky, but I didn't feel cold/intense about it. Maybe it was a foreshadowed feeling... I wasn't called in the entire 3hour period last week. Haha.
Come today, I knew I shall be called. My blockmates noticed Sir Valdez' new system of calling on students. He followed a pattern. After calling someone, he skips the people beside him/her and then calls another one. I was too sleepy to even bother so I just said, "Ah talaga?" and continued looking at my book without really reading (yes, I was still relaxed). Out of nowhere, immediately after my blockmate was asked to sit down, he started shuffling the index cards again and what do you know, "Kath Chan." I was in denial for a split second there. I almost wanted to make myself believe that there is another Kath Chan he might be calling but no. That's too farfetched. But I had to stand up and well, give my best (even if I was half asleep, thanks to my colds.). And there I went, explaining, answering his questions, answering his WHAT IF's (I had loads of them), and at the same time hoping it was all over because I really. felt. sleepy. Before I knew it, he said, "Alright. Thank You." and jots down my grade. It wasn't nerve wrecking at all-- not as I thought it would be, or maybe it was but I was just too sleepy to mind =) I just hope he gives me a good grade. I hardly even looked at my book and he never negated my answer so he better give me a decent one, else, well, wala lang. >=)
Oh by the way, I blogged! Yey! I just miss this. Gotta go read more western history, haynako.
I SHALL BE ON A BLOG LEAVE.
I can hardly put into words how stressed and how loaded I am right now, to think that I'm only four days accomplished for the first sem. I am afraid, doubtful, and becoming less and less eager of the school days to come. I have the worst set of professors to date, mind you. So until I get myself adjusted, there will be no more posts in this blog.
*cries as she makes her last post for the month, and maybe even for the next month...*
I was having one of these daily conversations with Kim after she came home from school. It's her second day being a first grader (thus my new nickname for her, gradeone, and yes, it is pronounced as one word) so as the excited
ate that I am, we talked about "serious" stuffs:
Me: Gusto mo maging class mayor?Kim: Ano yun? Class President?Me: Uhh... yeah. It's almost the same sa school. Parang you lead the class...Kim: Ooohh... I like *claps*Me: Cool. Basta kapag tinanong ni teacher who wants to be a class mayor, just raise your hand.Kim: OK. I want to be a leeeaaaddddeeerrr!Me: Basta be in good control of your classmates.Kim: Diba leader na ako kapag mayor ako?Me: Yup.Kim: So pwede kong sabihin, "Leah (her classmate) get me a glass of water!"Me: Ngeh! Hinde.Kim: Ah ok ok. I'm wrong. Dapat pala, "Leah, PLEASE get me a glass of water!"Ayiyi... On second thought, maybe being the class mayor is not such a very bright idea after all.
***
Happy Birthday to
Jess and
Mac today!
Happy Birthday to my long-time best friend
Karen Cruz. (You may not be able to read this but we texted each other yesterday so that's fine with me. I know you're still out there somewhere! Mwah! =p)
Jessica's early debut celebration last night was a blast. It was really fun, and seeing my high school friends again always seemed like it was the first time after a little more than a year (although in reality, we have seen each other a couple of times after graduation). Check out the pictures in Jess' multiply site! =)
IA's debut is up next. I have yet to find a gown, a gift, and so much more. Ayiyi.
Not in the mood to blog. I just thought I'd let you know I'm still alive... and yes, I still owe this blog an entry about my Bob Ong craze. SOON.
